giving up

i've realized a lot.
some of these would be:

-i really don't have a ton of friends. there's dalavalaki, annie, grace, gina, but thats about it.

-i really love this guy but i can't trust him for the life of me and it's killing me.

-i'm excited to start a new chapter of my life at college. i can be who ever i want to be.

-i'm nervous and excited about germany. more excited but still kinda nervous.

-i wish i had something to do all summer. i get bored tanning for hours.

-nobody really loves me. they say they do but i don't feel it. i feel awfully alone.

-i blog way too much. it's become a great way for me to express myself, saying i am a writer and hope to be a better one.

-i listen to a ton of music. right now, my mp3 is on shuffle nonstop. i cant live without it right now.

-i'm a jealous person. i think everyone has those days where you're just jealous of everyone else. but there are days i just envy people to an extreme extent.

-i feel bad for cara, mady, hannah, leah, alexis, joel, collin, and aaden. jon and kate have taken control of their lives and put them on display for millions of people.

-i wish i was a little bit taller.

-i'm comfortable with my body, i dont need to be thinner, have huge boobs, have a plastic smile and great abs to be happy.

-people are mean. i understand jk-ing, but sometimes it goes too far and isn't really joking.

-AIM is an obsession. nobody ims me and yet i sit on it forever.

-i'm trying to figure out what happy is and how to achieve it. do i need money? love? god? who knows. i'll let you know when i find the meaning of life. k?

and last but not least, i have come to realize that life isn't perfect. there are ups and downs but that's what keeps you going, that's what keeps you trying, keeps you getting back up and trying again, keeps you from getting bored with life and giving it all up. i believe life is worth it and not worth giving up hope when you seem to be at the bottom of a pit. just keep digging, you'll eventually get to china.