why? why? why?

i have this amazing boyfriend that i dont think i deserve. why? well i have no idea. i just, i feel like i'm not good enough for him. everyone says im wrong but i still feel that way. maybe its because i've been hurt so much in the past and i dont want to be hurt or to hurt anyone like that. i feel so great when im with him that im afraid that something is bound to go wrong. i just dont know how to let someone is so much without being afraid of getting it all thrown back in my face. i really wish that the last guy would have left me alone and not just strung me along. it killed me. and i dont know how to recover from it. i'm trying, and i'm trying my all to get past everything in the past and to open myself up to someone so great. i dont know how people can open up so easily? is it because they don't know the sting of pain, or is it because they forgive and forget and move on. maybe i'm overbearing it all. maybe i do just need to forget about the past and look towards my bright future. i might need sunglasses, the future's so bright.

boredness

so im bored. i should be cleaning, but i love to procrastinate. and im excited for tomorrow. bowling with Tom even tho i have only bowled twice and i suck lol. so anywayyyy im also blogging for honors comp at KU and i think you should check it out eng025.wordpress.com and yeah. im soo tired. working for hours on end sucks. and retail sucks twenty times that. but i still love my job, go figure. anyway wish me luck tomorrow!!

a mixture of five

Wish I never would've said it's over
And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older
Cause we never really had our closure
This can't be the end
I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want another lover at my door
It's just another heartache on my list
But Lord knows that this world is cruel
And I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool
Learning loving somebody don't make them love you
Must I always be waiting on you?
Must I always be playing your fool?
After my picture fades and darkness has
Turned to gray
Watching through windows youre wondering
If Im ok
That's just the way it is
Some things will never change
That's just the way it is



purple-better than me-hinder
red-lonely no more-rob thomas
blue-sitting, waiting, wishing-jack johnson
orange-time after time-cyndi lauper
black-the way it is-bruce hornsby

my spin on the all american rejects

Damn BOY
Dry your eyes
You stole my heart and then you kicked it aside
No BOY
You can't see
When YOU'RE inside HER know there's no room for me

And I used to think that I was all you would need
And there you go again
Oooh you think that you could just push me around
Yeah and there you go again
You lift me up and then you throw me back down


much better now =)